Okay, on Saturday, you heard my interview with Talia Sierra and Heidi Brown, aka the Burnout Girls. I think it was Heidi who said you have to analyze and visualize what it is you do want. If you can't visualize where you want to be, you can guarantee you'll stay stuck or end up in a different but equally undesirable place. She also said the only difference in whining vs. progress is having a solution.
I'm passionate about finding solutions to problems. It drives me crazy when I hear people complaining, including my kids. I talked in a previous podcast about how I encourage them to be problem solvers. I want everyone who hears this podcast to walk away feeling empowered to change their lives.
It's up to you to look around you and ask yourself if you like what you see. If you don't, visualize where you want to be and start taking tiny steps. You also have to communicate what you need/want. You can't expect others to guess what it is you want.
I told my husband once that I wanted to have a conversation with Oprah one day, and he's like, "Ohhh Kaay" What is it you plan to do to meet her? Do you think she's going to happen to come across your writing or your podcast and call you up? I'm like, "Yeah, I guess you're right." Maybe I should submit articles to O Magazine or see if she has any offers on her website.
My point is I can't just visualize something and hope it'll happen. I have to take steps towards making it happen.
I have to think, "what's something that'll bring me one step closer to meeting Oprah?" If I had a book, maybe that would help. A book can take a couple of years. What about an article? What about showing up wherever she has a speaking engagement. This thought led to buying tickets in 2020 for a live event (pre-Covid) to hear Oprah speak in Atlanta. It wasn't exactly a conversation with her, but it brought me closer than I'd ever imagined possible.
My daughter wants to be a decorator/real estate agent (think Joanna Gaines). Being a dreamer and brainstormer, I helped her think of ways she could get experience now. She wanted to redecorate our house. I declined turning a 9-year-old lose with a huge budget, but I did tell her I'd give her a small budget and let her decorate for holidays. She was over the moon excited about having a budget and time in TJ Maxx or Hobby Lobby to shop for decor. She planned out a vision for how wanted the house to look, got a few ideas from Pinterest, and bought bunny statues, fake carrots for a vase, dishtowels, and a bathroom towel. She came home excited to see her plan come to fruition.
My son wanted to be a pilot and was devastated when he learned he couldn't get a pilot's license with the airforce (the most economical way to do it) because of a peanut allergy. He gave up on his vision until I reminded him he was in charge of his destiny and told him to be open to possibility and keep the dream in his heart. I told him rules change, and maybe the airforce rules would change, maybe he could do peanut immunotherapy, or maybe he could find a plan B for getting a pilot's license. A few days later, I was seeing a patient who listed "pilot" as his occupation. It turns out he'd gotten his pilot's license at the local airport when he was only a few years older than Eli. He'd flown all over the world by his 30's and made great money. I picked his brain and walked away with some great ideas. Eli did his first flying lesson last week and came home on fire for flying.
The last point from Saturday's interview is to focus on changing the things you can change. Let go of complaining and griping about the things you can't change. If you don't like how something is being done in your job or your church or your child's school, don't gripe about it with others.
Take action. Ask questions, get involved, and offer your services and time. If you're not willing to do that, you're not allowed to complain about it. I hate my school's lunch menu. It's horribly unhealthy, but I've assessed my available time and energy and don't feel like it's where I want to invest myself. I have chosen to accept the food as-is and send my daughter with her lunch box on most days. She swears the school's hotdogs are the best thing she's ever eaten, and I keep my mouth shut. It's not something I'm going to try and change, so I don't get to gripe about it. The End.
